If you ’re anursedealing with onepatientafter the next , you could usually find oneself humor in some of the sluttish scenarios .
Whether they ’re wake up from anesthesia or being wholly honest and straight-from-the-shoulder , patientscan say the funniest thing .
We ask nurses to let us in the most memorable matter a patient has said to them .
If there ’s one somebody who ’s most likely to have run into and heard just about everything , it ’s a nurse . And we ’re not just talk somatic fluid and things wedge in places they should n’t be .
" Some patients have absolutely no filter when they ’re talking to us , " veteran nanny Gail tell apart Business Insider . " People trust us and they open up up to us , which can direct to them come out with some really memorable line . "
To find the funniest things patients have said that have left theirnursesin stitches , Business Insider speak with four real nurse and scoured the depth of the internet for more tales .
Here are 12 of the funniest things nurse have heard patient say .
Tales of pure filth
" It was my first patient with a colostomy . He was this sometime , cross man sit down up in seam . I started accept off his bag and it smelled so bad my eyes were watering . I kept telling myself to cogitate about his feelings and to not let anything show on my typeface . He seem at me and read , ' God , you ’ve pay off bad breath ! ' "
— Nancy , a nanny with 45 years ' experience
Labor pains
" One patient was in full expound , she started pushing , then changed her thinker . ' I do n’t wanna do this , I ’m going the f— home , ' she said . And then tried to get off the board . "
— Redditorjinx614
Interesting last Word
" We had one little , one-time peeress on our floor that was so fixated on her intestine movement . When she passed away her home wanted to bonk if she said anything . We had to make something up because her last Good Book were ' Haley ’s M - O ' , the name of a popular laxative . "
The surprising effect of an IV
" We were pay off a peeress ready for OR once . She was embarrassed but told one of the nurses that she had an climax every time she got an IV started . She just wanted to give us a head up . None of us want to start her IV . One of the other nurses finally did it . We always attempt to get a mineral vein in one stick , but this time I think that nurse was really motivated ! "
Cops are always on the caper
" I was working in the endoscopy recovery room . The procedures are unremarkably brief and only require loose anesthesia . One of my patients was a police officer . The first thing he articulate as he inflame up was , ' OK , so what ’s your story ? ! ' "
— Quora userAlice Boswell Vallejo
The truth about apple juice
" An orthopedic affected role had had surgery during the Clarence Shepard Day Jr. . I had him on the p.m. shift , and he was struggling to pee . His doc ordered him to be catheterized by 8 p.m. if he could n’t micturate . At 7:30 p.m. , he proudly show up me his urinal with sufficient yield . Just as I was about to go home he called me back in . He was in miserableness and concede it was apple succus . estimate who get a catheter ? "
An ode to laxative
" I had a patient role on heavy narcotics singing about Miralax to the air of ' Silver Bells . ' It made me laugh for the entire shift . ' Soon it will be pooping tiiiiime ! ' "
— RedditorBleachFrappuccino
Post - surgery indignation
" A affected role come alive up post - surgery got annoyed with me when I asked him how he was feeling . I continued to ask him if he was hurting because he was just move around in circles about how it ’s ' not fair ' and ' this is ridiculous . ' Then he look at me straight in the thorax , and State Department , ' I have n’t even looked in the refrigerator yet . ' Then he proceeded to flop his head back down and drift off . "
— Redditormphelp11
unknown advice
" One day as I was run around to get the supply for one of my resident physician who was coding , his married woman arrest me as I direct back to the room and says , ' Ohh , he ’s just faking . He ’s been talk about finding some way out of this sin hole . Just slap him intemperately a few prison term and he will arouse up . ' "
— Jenny , allnurse.com
An interesting take on closeness
" I ’m a accoucheuse , and I expect one of my patients if her partner would be at the birth . She said ' No f — ing way . I do n’t know him well enough . ' "
— Glenys , a nurse with 22 years ' experience
A resilient sense of humour
" We were extubating my really sick Whipple patient . He ’d gone through a major operating theater , and , when we got him off the breathing machine , the respiratory therapist lightly prompt him he was in hospital . He respond , ' no s— ! '
" Then when I asked him if he wanted me to fetch his wife , he asked ' which one ? ! ' It was amazing to see he still had such a sense of humor after everything he ’d been through . "
— Liz , a nursemaid with 2 twelvemonth ' experience
An attack on personal hygiene
" I once had the daughter of one of my patients march up to the breast feeding post , flap down the vital organ chart down on the desk , and yell at me , ' How dare you say my mother stinks ! '
" I ’m utterly puzzled by this as no one had said anything of the sort , and I asked the girl to explain what she intend . She grab the chart , guide to the row of ' BOs ' commemorate on it , and shouts , ' Here you even had the nerve to write it down ! '
" I explain that ' BO ' meant ' Bowels Open ' not soundbox olfactory property before escape to the staff way to laugh my question off . "
— Redditorwitchgytha
response have been edited for clarity .
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