We recently showed you just howbadly some of Apple ’s retail elite behavewhen no one ’s watching , but sure enough they were teach better , good ? You bet they were : Apple tells its new recruits exactly what what to call back and say . How do we know ? We read Apple ’s secret Genius Training Manual from covert to cover .
https://gizmodo.com/exclusive-confessions-from-the-most-corrupt-apple-stor-5936324
It ’s a penetrating looking at inside Apple : psychological mastery , banned word , roleplaying — you’ve never see anything like it .
The Genius Training Student Workbook we received is the company ’s most up to date , we ’re secern , and runs a gonzo gamut of Apple Dos and Don’ts , down to specific Bible you ’re not permit to habituate , and lessons on how to identify and capitalise on human emotion . The manual of arms could easily dish up as the Humanity 101 textbook for a robot university , but at Apple , it ’s an exhaustive manual to understanding customers and make them happy . Sales , it turn out , take a backseat to good vibes — almost the total volume is dedicated to sympathise , solace , chirk up up , and correcting various Genius Bar confrontations . The Assumption of Mary , it ’d seem , is that a happy client is a customer who will corrupt things . And no matter how much the Apple Store comes off as some sort of smiling likeminded computer commune , it ’s still a computer memory above all — just one that position an enormous amount of effort behind stupefy inside your principal .
Bootcamp for Geniuses
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Before you’re able to don the blue shirt and go to work with the business title of “ Genius ” every patronage day of your spirit , you have to dispatch a rigorously regiment , intricately scheduled training programme . Over 14 days you and will pass through programs like “ Using Diagnostic Services , ” “ Component Isolation , ” and “ The Power of Empathy . ” If one of those things does n’t vocalise like the other , you ’re right — and welcome to the very core of Apple Genius training : a swirling alloy of technical skills and view directly from a self - aid seminar .
The point of this bootcamp is to fill you up with Genius Actions and Characteristics , list conveniently on a “ What ” and “ How ” list on page seven of the manual . What does a Genius do ? Educates . How ? “ Gracefully . ” He also “ Takes Ownership ” “ Empathetically , ” “ Recommends ” “ Persuasively , ” and “ Gets to ‘ Yes ' ” “ Respectfully . ” The canonical melodic theme here , despite all the verbiage , is simple : Become strong while appear compassionate ; persuade while seeming passive , and understand your way to a sale .
No demand to soften words : This is psychological training . There ’s no uncertainty the typical trip to the Apple stock is on another echelon compared to big box retail torture ; Apple ’s faculty is bar none the most helpful and knowledgable of any large retail operation . A underlying part of their job — sans sales quotas of any variety — is merely to make you happy . But you ’re not at a watering hole . You ’re at a store , where things are bought and sold . Your happiness is just a means to the cash cash register , and the manual cue trainees of that : “ Everyone in the Apple Store is in the business of sell . ” Period .
The Good Fight
Although the indoctrination is usually skin inscrutable , Apple gives new star a giant gulp of the Kool - financial aid right off the squash racket . pageboy 39 gives a rundown of Selling Gadget Joy , by way of the “ Genius Skills , Behaviors , and Values Checklist . ” marketing is a science , add together up with five cute letter : ( A)pproach , ( P)robe , ( P)resent , ( L)isten , ( E)nd . In other words : Go up to someone and get them to give up to you about their cipher desires , insecurities , and need ; offer them pick ( of things to buy ) ; hear them out ; then seal off the day in a way of life that makes it feel like the customer has come to this decision on their own . The manual of arms condemns pushiness — that ’s a good affair — but it also prophesy a shape of salesmanship that ’s slenderly creepy : every Apple customer should find authorize , when it ’s really the Genius pull up cosmic string .
In Apple - ese , this is put forth in a serial publication of Maxim : “ We maneuver every fundamental interaction , ” “ We strain to inspire , ” “ We enrich their lives , ” “ We take personal initiative to make it right , ” which if withdraw , would make any rookie feel like they ’d just signed up with a NATO peacekeeping force , not a store in the mall .
Empathy
The terminal figure “ empathy ” is repeated ad nauseum in the Genius manual . It is the salesman sine qua non at the Apple Store , encouraging Geniuses to “ walk a Swedish mile in someone else ’s shoes , ” presume that mile ends at a credit entry plug-in swipe machine . It is not , the ledger insists in bold type , “ Sympathy , which is the ability to feel sorry for someone . ” brainiac are straight told not to apologize in a manner anyone would call verbatim . If someone walk in sob because their heavy effort is fried , you ’ll receive no quick consolation . “ Do not justify for the business [ or ] the technology , ” the manual commands . Instead , express ruefulness that the person is evince emotions . A piddling mind roundabout : “ I ’m good-for-nothing you ’re feel frustrated , ” or “ too bad about your soda - spill accident , ” the leger suggests . This is , of path , the combining weight of telling your lady friend “ I ’m sorry you sense that way ” during a fighting instead of just apologizing for what you did .
The choice to take that it but suck up when an Apple TV is bricked or telephone set shatters , Geniuses are taught to employ the “ Three Fs : Feel , Felt , and Found . This work especially well when the client is false or has bad information . ”
For model :
client : This Mac is just too expensive .
wizard : I can see how you ’d palpate this way . I felt the price was a little high , but I plant it ’s a veridical value because of all the built - in software and capabilities .
( Emphasis add )
The manoeuvre is glorious . The Genius has exchange places with the customer . He is she and she is he , and possibly that laptop computer is n’t too expensive after all . He Found it was n’t , at least .
The manual of arms then , on the next Sir Frederick Handley Page , presents 20 play scenarios for each trainee and a partner to work out out using the Three Fs . Fun .
Human Beings 101
Page 45 of the manual might ’ve been full cargo to post with a deep blank investigation , as it ’d facilitate anyone unfamiliar with our species understand “ Emotion Portrayed through Nonverbal Gestures . ” Neatly broken into a “ Positive ” and “ Negative ” newspaper column and then again by categories , someone without any social calibration can easily teach that “ vacuous stare ” is a sign of “ boredom , ” and “ smile ” indicates “ receptivity . ” Using your “ chairman back as a shield ” is apparently a sign of “ defensiveness , ” as are “ locked ankles and clenched clenched fist . ” Some make a small less sense : a “ clucking sound ” is equalize with confidence , “ unbutton coats ” too have in mind “ openness , ” “ rubbing nose ” is a game show for “ intuition or secrecy . ”
steer : If you ’re divvy up with a novel recruit at the Apple Store , do n’t put your “ hired man on hips ” or give a “ sideways glance , ” as you ’ll amount off as both “ belligerent ” and “ suspicious . ”
Things You’re Not Allowed to Say
Negativity is the deathly sin of the Genius . Disagreement is disallow , as are a litany of normal human leaning outlined on page 80 , which negate the moral excellence of empathy : comfort , commiserating , sympathizing , and taking blame are all verboten . Correcting a false or confused customer should be fulfill using the phrase “ turns out , ” which Apple enjoin “ adopt you out of the middle of an issuing , ” and also makes the true statement seem like something that just arrived serendipitously . For example , on page 82 :
Customer : The OS is n’t support .
Genius : You ’d opine not , would n’t you . turn out it is supported in this version .
This is really just an advanced , Apple judo adaptation of the customer is always right . But then there ’s the leaning of Holy Scripture that just straight up are n’t allowed , on page 30 . The manual explains that “ AppleCare ’s legal counsel has specify [ these ] terms that should be quash when discourse product emergence with client . ”
Did your computer clangoring ? No , it “ lay off responding . ” Never say crash .
What if some Apple software has a bug ? Wrong : there ’s an “ issue , ” “ condition , ” or only “ site . ”
You do n’t “ carry off ” a trouble — you “ lose weight ” it .
No Apple products are live — at most they ’re “ warm . ”
Switching “ disaster ” out for “ erroneousness ” might make horse sense to calm down a terrified guest , but most of this is a straight up whitewash , the sterilization of linguistic communication that could very well be accurate for a given problem . Sometimes there are bugs , laptops do run live , and laptop computer crash .
“Fearless Feedback”
Fearless Feedback is Apple ’s terminus for institutionalised passive aggression . On pageboy 58 , it ’s key as an “ undecided dialogue every mean solar day , ” with “ positive intent . ” It ’s most certainly not “ telling someone they are awry . ” Except that it is — just prevented in a quintessentially Genius style of masterly empathy and charged positivity aura .
On page 60 , the following negotiation is presented as a naturalistic sample conversation between two Apple employees :
“ Hi , fellow maven . I overhear your conversation with your customer during the last interaction and I have some feedback if you have a import . Is this a good time ? ”
“ Yes , this is a effective time . ”
“ You did a great line of work correct the customer ’s iPhone issue . I was implicated with how rapidly you spoke to the customer . It seemed like you were cannonball along through the interaction , and the client had additional questions . ”
A few min later :
“ Thanks for listening to the feedback . In the hereafter , please ensure to signalize me if you need aid rather than work too quickly with a customer .
“ Thanks for giving it ! ”
I postulate several former genius if this sort of robot - speak was ever used after it was required during training roleplaying .
“ Never . ”
“ Only during core training , never on the storey . ”
“ Fearless Feedback was really hated around the shoes . If someone had Fearless Feedback , we ’d hear , but then afterwards I ’d have this uncontrollable urge to plug them in the face . We all found it much more effective to get Fearless Feedback from the managers , which was more like dread feedback . ”
“ Sounds perfectly normal , until you watch the videos and think ‘ who the piece of ass talks like that ? ! ' ”
No one . And yet on pageboy 61 , Apple take a firm stand this variety of cold address “ is essential to maintain Apple Retail civilization , ” as well as your personal developing . ” But this is n’t a naturalistic way to expect anyone to personally acquire . As much as Apple operates like a gleam hermetic CPU , its underpaid base workers will never officiate like the pearly-white gadgets they sell . It ’s hard to expect them to , nor should we , perhaps , be surprised when these expectations of superhuman behavior arereplaced rather by misbehavior .
But behaving , misbehaving , or anything between , it does n’t matter . The Genius system , as detached from realness , astoundingly challenging , sprawling , and tight as it is , works . It work out better than anything that ’s ever come before it , and every Apple Store has the sales physique to back that up . Maybe it ’s because the products betray themselves . Maybe it ’s the zealot rooter base . Or maybe the gloomy - clad agent really are inside our heads when we take the air away from the Bar .
Are you a current or former Apple Genius ? Have anything you want to share?Email me !
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