In Larry Clark ’s 2002 Teenage Caveman , a virus wipe out humanity , leave only dissipate human tribes and teenaged immortals who love blowing lines and bacchanal . And if you have sex with the immortals , you gain power or spontaneously combust . WTF ?
on the face of it a remaking of Roger Corman ’s 1958Z - grad classic of the same name , Clark ’s Teenage Caveman takes place in an unfathomable future where David ( Andrew Keegan ) , Sarah ( Tara Subkoff ) , and their mob of malcontent caveteens lead their clan encounter a post - apocalyptic Seattle , where horny , superpowered deity Neil ( Richard Hillman ) and Judith ( Tiffany Limos ) live . The superbeings welcome the teens to their shiny citadel … and then the drug - fueled orgies begin .
See , Teenage Caveman was calculate by Larry Clark of Kids fame , so the movie derails into sex fiestas that would be totally unneeded in another movie . dedicate how damn idiotic and low - budget Teenage Caveman is , the sex scene are the absolute high spot . I could only find scenes of their teenaged decadence on Gallic and German sites , so just imagine the characters are speaking some inscrutable futuristic patois .
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finally our booster are all either ( A ) killed by the evil , marriageable immortals ; ( B ) become human piss balloon ; or ( C ) become supermutants themselves . At this point , the free sex stops and the cheeseball military action begins with a vengeance . Oh , and sometimes the immortals turn into Rancor - looking things . I suppose this is a sexual turn - off , but different strokes for different folk .
In sum , Teenage Caveman is the greatest date motion picture of all time . You ’ll make your erotic intentions absolutely clear to your love sake . They ’ll be intimate right off the bat that you have fleshly intent , but they also might think that you have an STD and want to strap a grenade to them . It ’s a gamble , for sure .
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